In a recent viral social media post, a Malaysian woman anonymously shared her marital experiences, leaving many baffled by her husband’s behavior.
The story, initially posted in the “Tanya Peguam” Facebook group (which translates to “Ask a Lawyer”), was later reshared by user @AidaSue on platform X.
The woman disclosed that she has been in a marital bond for seven years and is a mother to a 5-year-old.
Quit her job after marriage
Prior to her marriage, she was professionally engaged as an architect. However, post-marriage, she left her job to support her husband, an engineer by profession.
She detailed her husband’s monthly earnings, which amounted to RM8,000.
His financial commitments include:
- Personal expenses
- Utility bills
- House installment of RM2,500,
- Insurance costing around RM1,000,
- Payment for his mother residing in a village.
Interestingly, he only covers the cost of meals when dining out with his wife.
Forbids wife from working
The crux of her grievances revolves around her husband’s contradictory expectations.
Post-marriage, he insisted she refrain from working. Yet, he refrained from providing her with any allowance.
While he would cover household essentials when shopping together, he never handed her cash for personal use.
He expected her to manage her phone bills, insurance, and even her mother’s expenses from her savings or by discontinuing certain services.
He justified this by stating that these were expenses from her time as a working professional.
My phone bill, insurance, money to give to my mother every month, he told me to find it myself or just terminate it all without having to use the phone or buy insurance.
He said he didn’t have to bear all that because of all the commitments I had when I was working as an architect.
Secretly selling desserts to fund herself
To cope with her financial needs, the woman began secretly selling desserts from home. Initially, her husband disapproved, fearing judgment from his peers.
However, upon realizing the success of her venture, he permitted her to continue, with the condition that his colleagues remain unaware.
Through her dessert business, she managed to earn a net profit ranging between RM2,000 to RM4,000 monthly. Yet, this was barely sufficient to meet her commitments and support her mother.
Her husband’s demands escalated when he became aware of her earnings. He instructed her to bear all household expenses and later reimburse from him.
Ever since he knew I had income, household and kitchen expenses, he told me to pay first, make a list and claim with him every end of the month.
However, he set stringent rules on what could be claimed. He denied claims related to electricity (attributing it to her business), her lunch expenses, their son’s preschool fees, and even their child’s meals.
Despite these rules, he has refrained from reimbursing her since May of this year.
Alleges that her husband has savings of RM800,000
She discovered that he has savings amounting to over RM800,000. Whenever she approached him for claims, he would rebuke her, questioning the need for her business if she still depended on him financially.
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When I claim, he told me: ‘What are you doing business for? If it’s difficult, stop selling’.
I have been intending to divorce my husband through an agreement for a long time. But he doesn’t want it because the child is still small and will be embarrassed with family/friends.
The now-deleted post attracted over 13,000 reposts and 1.4 million views, with many sympathizing with the woman’s predicament.
