A Malaysian woman shared how her marriage allegedly became strained after she felt her mother-in-law started treating her like a “love rival”.
In her sharing, the woman said she had known her husband for 15 years and married to him for nine years, leading to the birth of a daughter and a pair of twin boys.
Before marriage, she said her mother-in-law was still civil with her as they did not meet often due to the couple’s long-distance relationship.
However, things allegedly changed after marriage.
Realised husband was very dependent on his mother
According to the woman, she slowly realised that her husband was deeply dependent on his mother, while her mother-in-law was controlling and emotional.
She claimed her mother-in-law’s marriage was not good, and her daughter had already moved overseas, leaving the son as her main emotional support.
At first, the woman thought it was just a normal close mother-son relationship. But over time, she felt something was not right.
Tried to be a good daughter-in-law
The woman said she tried to be a good daughter-in-law after marriage.
However, when she cooked, her mother-in-law allegedly complained that the food was not what she wanted. When she bought things, she was accused of buying items that would “harm” her.
Although they did not live together, the mother-in-law allegedly visited often and commented on the couple’s furniture, kitchen, bedroom, and daily habits.
The woman said it felt like her own home had to follow her mother-in-law’s rules.
MIL allegedly got jealous over husband and children
After the couple had children, the woman claimed her mother-in-law became even more hostile.
She alleged that the older woman disliked it when the children were close to her, and even got jealous when she cooked for her husband.
On one occasion, when the woman was not home, her mother-in-law allegedly asked her husband to go back and accompany her at night.
The woman said she later overheard their conversation and felt shocked, claiming her mother-in-law’s tone sounded less like a mother and more like someone competing for attention.
That was when she felt her mother-in-law had always treated her like an enemy.
Husband allegedly asked her to tolerate it
Things allegedly became worse when the mother-in-law stayed at their home.
The woman claimed her mother-in-law placed personal items in the couple’s bedroom and acted like the lady of the house.
When she brought it up to her husband, he allegedly told her: “She’s just like that. Just tolerate it.”
She said her husband would usually side with his mother during arguments, making her feel even more helpless.
Husband became more controlling
Over time, the woman claimed her husband became more like his mother.
He allegedly started controlling household spending, refused to bring the children out, and treated many things as a waste of money, even though she claimed she was paying for more than 60% of the household expenses.
She also alleged that he would lose control when the children did not listen, scolding them loudly and becoming physically aggressive.
On one occasion, she claimed she stepped in to protect the children and ended up bruised herself.
Considered divorce but worried about custody
The woman said she has thought about divorce many times.
However, she is worried because her husband allegedly said he would fight for custody and let his mother take care of the children.
She claimed this worries her as her mother-in-law had never truly cared for the children before.
The woman also said she has CCTV evidence allegedly showing her husband losing control emotionally, threatening them with objects, and hurting them.
Now, she said she is exhausted and only wants to protect her children.
She is also seeking advice on how to increase her chances of getting custody if she divorces, and whether visitation can be arranged only under her supervision.
