Sometimes, the message may come from a place of concern, but the way it is delivered can make all the difference.
A Malaysian man recently went viral after sharing a workplace incident that still makes him feel guilty until today, involving a female colleague whom he once commented on for having body odour.
Told her directly about it at work
In a Threads post, the man recalled that he once approached a woman at his workplace after noticing that she had body odour.
According to him, he did not mock or make fun of her, but chose to tell her directly.
He wrote that he told her: “Kak, your armpit smells.”
However, what happened after that left him shocked. He claimed that the woman resigned from her job the very next day.
Until now, I still feel guilty. Was the way I told her wrong?” he wrote.
Says he now keeps quiet instead
In a follow up post, he jokingly said that after the incident, he now chooses to remain silent whenever he notices the same issue among his students.
He added that he would simply hold his breath until they were done with class, before jokingly asking who wanted to challenge him to an underwater breath holding contest.
However, he later posted another update to apologise to the woman involved.
He said he could no longer remember who she was or even her name, but if she ever saw the thread and still remembered him, he wanted to say sorry.
“I’m sorry if you felt hurt. Back then, I was too straightforward. Although my intention was good, the way I said it was wrong. I’m sorry, kak,” he wrote.
Took place around 2008 or 2009,
Speaking to WeirdKaya, the man shared that the incident took place around 2008 or 2009, shortly after he had finished school.
Due to how long ago it happened, he said he could not clearly remember the woman’s exact reaction when he told her about it.
I don’t really remember because it happened in 2008 or 2009. I had just finished school at the time. I think she just kept quiet and acted like nothing happened,” he said.
He didn’t apologise at the time because he didn’t think he was wrong
When asked whether he tried to find the woman again to apologise, the man admitted that he did not do so back then.
He explained that at the time, he did not feel like he had done anything wrong, as he believed he had not embarrassed her publicly.
“No, because at that time, I felt like I wasn’t wrong. I didn’t tell her openly, and I said it nicely,” he told WeirdKaya.
However, he said the guilt only started to hit him after she allegedly quit her job.
After she stopped working, that was when I started feeling uneasy. That was when I realised it was wrong. Not everyone can be corrected directly like that,” he said.
He says he would probably stay quiet if he could go back
Looking back, the man said that if he could repeat the situation, he probably would not say anything at all.
He admitted that he may not be good at giving sensitive feedback and now only speaks directly to people he is close with.
“If I could go back, maybe I wouldn’t say anything. I don’t think I’m good at advising people,” he said.
Even now, I’m still a straightforward person, but only with close friends. If I’m not close to someone, I just keep quiet.”
His message to the woman
The man also shared what he would say to the woman if she ever came across his viral thread.
He said he simply wanted to apologise and make it clear that he never intended to hurt her feelings.
I want to apologise. I’m not good at expressing myself and I’m not really good with words. I just want to say sorry, and that I had no intention of hurting her,” he said.
Netizens say he should have been more tactful
The post quickly sparked a discussion online, with many netizens saying that while the issue itself may be sensitive, the delivery could have been handled in a much kinder way.
One netizen advised him to use indirect language when talking about private matters, as some people may feel deeply embarrassed when confronted directly.
The netizen suggested that instead of saying it so plainly, he could have brought it up through a casual conversation, such as sharing a “past experience” where someone once gave them deodorant.
Another user said that the woman’s decision to quit the next day showed how much the comment may have affected her.
“If you want to tell someone, do it in a way that does not shame or embarrass them,” the user wrote, adding that even a simple anonymous note might have been a better approach.
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