(Un)Popular Opinion | Being a girl in M’sia, we all have our own preferences when it comes to dating. Yet, when it comes to this certain topic, most of us are in the same shoes. Now, being in a man’s position, it can be a rollercoaster ride (only for the ones who actually care).
As a girl with many “dating experiences”, I can assure you that many guys nowadays do prepare a very good plan for the first date, trying to get the best first impression.
Have I ever bumped into one that doesn’t put in the work? Obviously.
Avoid bad first dates if possible
One way to deal with such a first date is to never contact them again after.
Why? First dates are actually essential as it allows you to understand more about the individual. Making sure they are the “one” for you.
My first date and how it went
What happened on my first date? I was with a guy on a cafe date. Assuming that I am a very straightforward person, he decided to ask what I wanted for lunch. I answered politely that anything should be fine.
He then proceeded to buy me an Iced Milo which cost him RM 5.50. This was not even the worst part. He then asked me to follow to the basement to have a better “interaction”.
Well, well, things escalated. Do I think this is the best way to have a first date? Not even close.
My mother sensed that something fishy was going on, she then decided to barge into the cafe. Coming to realisation, that I was not there, she then called me.
When he knew that it was my mom, he pushed me aside and took a speedy run from there, not even saying goodbye to me.
Seems as if I am making it up, but I am not. We were young, so it’s a valid reason for him acting in such a way.
Why first dates explains each other’s true self
The efforts, the gestures and the body language plays an important part in choosing the right guy for yourself.
Coming back to the question. Do girls even mind making plans for the first date?
Honestly, ninety percent of the women currently, set expectations high, whereby they expect the guy to jot down a perfect date idea before bringing them out.
As a guy, this might take a toll on your mental well being, sometimes even corrupt you financially.
In my opinion, one way to have the perfect date idea is to know more about the girl you are willing to take out. Some prefer it to be simple, some, extra. There are also ones where they are clueless on what to do.
The right question to ask
This is how applying my technique will help you have the best first date experience. Questions you choose to ask are the total game changer.
“Are you an Instagram girly ? or are you very lowkey about things?”.
Believe it or not, this will ease up thirty percent of your doubts. If she says she is more of an Instagram girly, stick with aesthetic cafes, picnic dates, and museums or exhibitions.
Certain cases where, if she says she is lowkey, bring her to arcades, for a stroll at parks, and sometimes even a simple fast food restaurant and thrift dates.
If she says she isn’t both, try prolonging the conversation, to notice if she is allowing herself to express what she likes and what she doesn’t. There are straight forward girls, AKA: the brave ones, who are not afraid of guiding a guy to do what they like.
For all the guys who are broke to bring a girl out, it’s best to focus on building your career first. If you are financially struggling it’s better not to enter the dating world.
Sometimes you may encounter girls who are not really supportive and are not willing to do the “50/50” part.
If you find one, lucky for you!
Why are girls not willing to plan the first date? Scientifically, men are known to be more dominant and women, submissive. Not in general, but mostly, yes. This makes the man treat the women well, feed her well and assert his dominance.
Especially during the first dates.
The background matters
Sometimes, a person’s background plays a role in their behavior too. Some lack father or mother’s presence and develop emotional baggage. This determines whether they want to be taken care of, or show care to someone. This evaluates one’s love language as well.
Pro tip of dating, learn how to love yourself before loving someone else.
The do’s and dont’s
Character wise, many don’t know how to act infront of a girl, vice versa for the female too. During the first date, it’s better to show your true self, instead of sugar coating things.
Do not talk about your past relationships, as if you are missing them or also thrashing about it. This ruins the way a girl or a guy sees you.
Table manners are also important nowadays. Phones usage should be prohibited during first dates as it may show that you are lacking interest in spending quality time with your partner.
Moreover, if you are a guy do not initiate any physical movements on the first date. Wanting something more during the first date is a big NO, NO. Act like a gentleman, as the current dating ethics is not the best, try making a change.
It’s not always physical, there’s more to it.
Last but not least, it’s always not about appearance that captivates one’s heart. Make sure you show your true self without any filter. If not there may be consequences you will face as time goes by. Now you are all set for your first date. Good luck!
Disclaimer: The views expressed in this article are the author’s own and does not purport to reflect the opinions or views of WeirdKaya.