A Malaysian woman has questioned whether she was too materialistic for ending her five year relationship after discovering that her boyfriend owed the bank around RM100,000.
Despite earning between RM18,000 and RM25,000 a month, he had allegedly kept the personal loan debt from her while discussing marriage and buying a house together.
Split every expense equally
According to the woman, the couple practised a strict 50-50 arrangement throughout their relationship.
Everything from groceries and daily expenses to holidays was divided equally between them.
The woman, who earns around RM15,000 a month, said she had no issue paying her share.
However, she gradually felt that her boyfriend was unusually calculative with money.
Even when she occasionally asked him to buy her a drink or order her some food, he would reportedly refuse or appear reluctant to do so.
Became unhappy when marriage expenses were discussed
The couple had also discussed getting married and purchasing a house under both their names.
While the woman was willing to contribute towards the property, problems arose whenever they talked about the bride price and wedding expenses.
She claimed her boyfriend would become unhappy and ask why he was expected to bear everything.
This confused her as his only major financial commitment appeared to be a monthly car instalment of approximately RM3,000.
Revealed RM100,000 personal loan debt
After she repeatedly questioned him about his finances, he eventually revealed that he had approximately RM100,000 in personal loan debt.
What puzzled her further was that he apparently had money on hand but did not plan to settle the loan early. Instead, he continued making minimum payments or paying the interest.
She said he did not spend on luxury goods, cigarettes, alcohol or frequent social activities.
As they stayed together almost every day, she also did not notice him spending heavily on entertainment.
She asked whether the debt was related to gambling, but he denied it. He had also never asked her to help repay the loan.
Worried about sharing his financial risks
At 33, the woman said the discovery left her feeling increasingly uncertain about their future.
She eventually initiated the breakup but later struggled with guilt, wondering whether she had abandoned her partner simply because he was facing financial difficulties.
However, she was also concerned that someone carrying such a large undisclosed debt still wanted to purchase a house jointly with her.
She began questioning whether he genuinely wanted to build a future together or merely wanted someone to share the financial risks.
“I don’t know whether I was too heartless, or whether I finally chose to think about myself for once,” she wrote.
