A 29-year-old Malaysian woman has sparked discussion online after sharing why she feels hesitant to marry her boyfriend, despite him wanting to settle down and start a family.
In an anonymous confession shared by XUAN on their Facebook page, she said the two have been dating for a while and are both earning decent incomes. Their daily expenses and travel costs are usually split equally.
However, when it comes to marriage and children, the couple is not on the same page.
According to the woman, her boyfriend, who is seven years older than her, has been keen on getting married and having kids. She, on the other hand, leans towards not wanting either for now.
She clarified that it is not a complete rejection of marriage or children, but rather a concern that her partner is not mature enough at this stage of life.
No house or savings despite age
One of her main concerns is his financial situation.
She claimed that despite his age, her boyfriend does not own a house and has almost no savings. His only major asset is a car worth over RM300,000.
In comparison, she said she owns a fully paid car and a terrace house worth around RM600,000.
This difference, she implied, makes her question his readiness for long term commitments like marriage.
Emotional outbursts during arguments
Another issue she highlighted was his lack of emotional control.
She shared that during disagreements, her boyfriend tends to lose control easily. His voice would tremble, he would sound like he is about to cry, and he would sometimes raise his voice.
More recently, his reactions have escalated to what she described as extreme behaviour, including punching the floor and hitting himself.
The woman also described her boyfriend as someone who can be calculative when it comes to effort and giving.
She said he sometimes appears unwilling to help with small favours. Gifts given during special occasions would also be brought up again during arguments.
He is currently living in her house and pays RM1,000 in rent monthly, but she claimed that he does not seem entirely willing about it.
Despite her concerns, she acknowledged that her boyfriend does have positive traits such not smoking, drinking, gambling, or engaging in questionable behaviour.
However, she said these are “basic expectations” and not enough to outweigh his shortcomings.
Not ready to give up RM20K income
She also pointed out a more practical concern about her career.
Her job requires her to keep working in order to earn, and she currently makes close to RM20,000 a month.
Given her boyfriend’s current situation and capabilities, she said she does not feel secure enough to give up her income to have a child for him.
The woman admitted that she had considered breaking up not long after the relationship began.
However, she sometimes questions whether her expectations are too high.
She ended her post by asking others for their opinions on her situation, which has since sparked debate among netizens over standards, maturity, and what it really means to be ready for marriage.
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