Sometimes, grief is not about finding the right words. It is simply about missing someone who once meant the world to you.
A Malaysian man recently touched hearts online after sharing his visit to his late Chinese grandfather’s grave, admitting that while they followed different religions, the love and longing he felt for his Ah Kong remained unchanged.
‘I have a longing that not everyone knows about’
Taking to Threads, Aiman Fahmy shared photos of himself sitting beside his late grandfather’s grave.
“I have a longing that not everyone knows about.”
He explained that his father is a convert to Islam, while his late grandfather was Chinese.
Because of their different faiths, Aiman said he was unsure how he should pray for his grandfather.
“You will forever be missed, Ah Kong,” he wrote.
The post struck a chord online, garnering hundreds of thousands of views and thousands of reactions, with many Malaysians sharing similar experiences involving family members of different faiths.
Spotted his grandfather’s photo from afar and broke down
Replying to a comment, Aiman revealed that he initially had trouble finding his grandfather’s grave.
It was only when he spotted a familiar photograph from a distance that he realised he had found it.
He admitted that the moment made him cry, as he had not realised just how much he missed his grandfather.
According to Aiman, it had been around four years since he last visited the grave.
He later spent about 20 minutes sitting in front of it and reminiscing about the memories they shared.
One commenter suggested that instead of worrying about what he could or could not do at the grave, he could help clear the grass around it.
Aiman thanked the commenter for the idea, saying he would do so on his next visit.
Remembers Ah Kong as a hardworking family man
As more people asked about his grandfather, Aiman shared glimpses of the man he remembered growing up.
He described his Ah Kong as a kampung man who worked hard to put food on the table despite having one hand affected by polio.
Aiman said his grandfather worked tapping rubber to support his family.
One of his fondest memories was picking Ah Kong up for breakfast at his favourite kopitiam whenever the family returned to their hometown.
Whenever he visited, his grandfather would also greet him with one familiar question.
“Kau dah makan?” or “Have you eaten?”
It is a simple question many Malaysians would recognise as its own form of love.
Aiman said both his parents are from Melaka, which made it easier for the family to visit relatives from both sides during the holidays.
He also shared a photo from this year’s Chinese New Year celebration, showing that the family continues to remain close despite their different backgrounds and beliefs.
A spontaneous stop that brought back old memories
Speaking to WeirdKaya, the man said the visit was actually unplanned.
He was on his way to a car workshop when he happened to pass by the cemetery and realised it had been a long time since he last visited his Ah Kong.
“I was on my way to the workshop when I happened to pass by the cemetery. Since it had been a long time since I last visited, I decided to stop by for a while,” he said.
He shared that his grandfather passed away in 2007, when he was just 13 years old.
Standing by the grave brought back memories from his childhood.
Although he said they did not have many opportunities to spend long periods together, partly because practical religious matters such as praying and food made overnight stays at his grandfather’s home difficult, he still remembers the little routines they shared.
“I mostly remembered the small moments from when I was young. We didn’t have that many memories together because our different religions made it difficult for us to stay overnight at his house, especially when it came to praying and food,” he said.
“But whenever we went back to my mother’s hometown, we would pick him up early in the morning, take him out for breakfast and buy some groceries together.”
‘He still worked hard to raise his children’
More than anything, he hopes people remember his grandfather for how hard he worked for his family.
He told WeirdKaya that his Ah Kong had polio affecting his right hand, but continued working as a rubber tapper to raise his children.
“I remember my grandfather as someone with a disability due to polio in his right hand, but he still worked very hard to raise his children,” he said.
According to stories told by his father, the family struggled financially and did not come from a wealthy background. However, education eventually helped change the lives of his father and his siblings.
“My father told me that their family was really poor back then and there was no wealthy background to rely on. But education changed the lives of my father and his siblings,” he said.
Now that he is a father himself, he said he understands his grandfather’s perseverance on a much deeper level.
“Now that I’m a father too, I understand how much the world can pressure and weigh us down,” he said.
“But we still have to get back up and keep doing what we need to do, because there are people whose hopes and future depend on us.”
Other M’sians share similar stories
Aiman’s post prompted several Malaysians from mixed faith families to share their own experiences.
One commenter said their grandmother was Chinese and recalled having fond memories of returning to her home as a child.
Another said their father was also a convert and that they recently lost a non Muslim cousin who had looked after them when they were young.
Others reminded Aiman that remembering his grandfather’s kindness and continuing to love him were meaningful in their own way.
For Aiman, the visit appeared to be less about finding the perfect thing to say and more about remembering the man who had once cared for him.
As he put it in one reply, he could still remember his grandfather and all the good he had done.
And sometimes, missing someone is already a reflection of how deeply they were loved.
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