Many people assume that the most tiring part of having a job is the workload.
However, one Malaysian woman shared that what truly drained her was not the work itself, but being in an environment where problems were ignored and honest communication felt unwelcome.
In an anonymous submission shared on XUAN’s Facebook page, she reflected on how her experiences at work slowly caused her to lose confidence and passion for her job.
She thought communication could solve anything
The woman said she once believed that she could handle even the busiest workload as long as everyone was willing to communicate and solve problems together.
Over time, however, she realised that not everyone approached work in the same way.
While she wanted to clarify issues and find solutions, others appeared more interested in ending the conversation or avoiding additional responsibilities.
She recalled meeting a colleague who appeared friendly, helpful and easy to work with. The colleague spoke gently and was always smiling at others.
However, whenever an actual problem arose, the colleague’s first concern was allegedly not how to resolve it, but how to avoid being inconvenienced.
Problems remained
According to the woman, many people in the office were already aware of the problems around them.
Some colleagues were consistently careless, while others repeatedly made mistakes or passed responsibilities to someone else.
“The situation’s like a leaking ceiling in the office. Everyone can see it and might even complain about it, but as long as the water doesn’t drip onto them, they would simply walk past it.
“In some cases, the person who raised the issue could even end up being seen as the troublesome one,” she said.
Became afraid to ask questions
The woman admitted that she used to take her work seriously.
Whenever something was delayed, she would follow up. If a process was unclear, she would continue asking questions until she understood it.
However, she eventually noticed that some people were more concerned about avoiding questions, pressure and responsibility than improving efficiency.
This slowly changed the way she communicated at work.
She went from actively asking questions to hesitating before speaking because she worried that others would find her annoying.
Over time, she began questioning whether she was too sensitive, whether there was something wrong with the way she communicated or whether she was the one causing unnecessary pressure.
Even asking a simple question became stressful, as she would imagine the other person responding impatiently before deciding whether she should speak at all.
Speaking up made her feel like the problem
The woman also noticed that some workplace issues were openly discussed in private.
However, when someone raised the same issue in front of everyone, the room would suddenly become silent.
This made her feel as though the person who pointed out the problem was being treated as the one who created it.
She later concluded that many people were already aware of the truth but did not want to make the situation uncomfortable.
In her view, most adults were better at maintaining a pleasant atmosphere than confronting and resolving difficult issues.
She also came to believe that some people who appeared kind were simply good at protecting themselves.
While they smiled and spoke nicely to everyone, they would prioritise their own position and emotions whenever a difficult situation arose.
Issues only mattered when senior employees were affected
What disappointed her most was seeing how certain problems only became important when senior management began paying attention to them.
Similarly, some grievances were only addressed when they affected someone with greater authority.
That was when she realised that it was not necessarily because nobody knew about the problem.
Instead, she felt that her concerns simply were not considered important enough.
The repeated experience gradually caused her to become quieter and less confident in herself.
She also started keeping her thoughts to herself because she did not know whether speaking up would lead to understanding or cause her to be ignored once again.
Eventually lost her passion
At one point, the woman said she woke up every day not wanting to go to work.
It was not because she was unable to perform her duties.
Instead, constantly feeling that she could not speak openly, or that speaking up would not change anything, slowly caused her to lose her enthusiasm.
She later learnt not to let other people’s indifference continue affecting her emotions after working hours.
While her colleagues had already moved on with their lives, she was often the only one replaying the upsetting incidents in her mind.
Through the experience, she accepted that not every effort would be recognised, not every sincere person would be appreciated and not every problem would receive a fair outcome.
However, she said this did not mean that someone should become cold or indifferent simply to fit into the workplace.
For her, maturity was not about becoming more calculating. It was about understanding the reality of the situation while still knowing how to protect her own heart.
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