How couples manage their finances can be a sensitive topic, especially when both partners are earning their own income.
A Malaysian woman recently sparked a heated discussion online after saying that despite earning RM30,000 a month after deductions, she would not give her husband money simply to help him cover household expenses.
‘He needs to be creative and find money’
In a Threads post, the woman said her monthly salary was RM30,000 after deductions such as PCB, EPF and SOCSO.
However, she said she would not contribute money to help her husband pay for expenses such as the house and groceries.
Let him be creative and figure out how to make money,” she wrote.
She then added that people should “normalise teaching men to be men”, claiming that some men were becoming like “princesses”.
The post quickly gained attention, receiving over 2,000 likes and hundreds of comments at the time of the screenshot.
Some agreed that husbands should provide
Her statement divided netizens, with some agreeing that a husband should be responsible for providing basic necessities for his family.
One commenter wrote that housing and groceries are considered basic necessities, adding that anything beyond that could be something the wife voluntarily helps to pay for.
Another person supported the original poster’s view that a woman helping her husband financially should be doing so willingly rather than because she is forced to.
Another netizen said they did not mind helping a man if he genuinely needed it.
“But when helping becomes an expectation instead of appreciation, that’s when it starts to hurt,” the commenter wrote.
Others say marriage should be about teamwork
On the other hand, many felt that refusing to contribute simply because one spouse is expected to provide could create unnecessary tension in a marriage.
One commenter claimed their household income was close to RM70,000 a month and said they had never viewed the money as belonging solely to either spouse.
“RM70k is for the family. If you still only think about yourself, why build a family to begin with?” the person wrote.
Another man said he earns RM65,000 a month while his wife earns RM12,000, but explained that they do not strictly keep score of who pays for what.
According to him, his wife frequently pays whenever they eat out, while he usually covers more expensive meals.
He said they have been happily married for 21 years and warned that once couples start keeping score, the other partner may eventually do the same.
Another commenter criticised the original post for lacking empathy, saying it was not uncommon for a husband with a high salary to have little savings because much of his income goes towards supporting the household.
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