A mother has sparked a discussion online after sharing an uncomfortable interaction she witnessed between her domestic helper and her young son.
Taking to Threads, user @shazrinax said she had to remind her helper not to kiss her son after hearing her make physical affection a condition for giving him food.
According to the mother, her son had asked the helper for yoghurt when she allegedly replied:
Kiss Bibik first.”
For context, “Bibik” is a term commonly used in Malaysia to refer to a female domestic helper or caregiver.
The remark immediately made her uncomfortable, prompting her to speak up about it.
‘I literally just spoke to her about boundaries’
In the comments, the mother clarified that she appreciates the helper and the care she provides for her son.
However, she said the incident was particularly frustrating as she had already spoken to the helper about boundaries just days earlier.
“I appreciate her help and how she cares for my son. I literally just spoke to her days ago about having boundaries,” she wrote.
She added that shortly afterwards, she personally heard the helper asking her son to kiss her before getting the yoghurt.
“Wth. I’m so furious,” she wrote.
When another user asked whether she would be comfortable if her child’s teacher did the same thing, the mother said she would not.
She questioned why adults who are not relatives or close family members should expect kisses from children in the first place.
Netizens discuss consent and physical boundaries
The post, which had garnered around 165,000 views at the time of the screenshot, soon triggered a wider conversation about children, affection and personal boundaries.
Several users felt the bigger concern was not simply the kiss itself, but the fact that it was being requested in exchange for something the child wanted.
One commenter argued that telling a child they need to provide physical affection before receiving food or another reward could send the wrong message about consent.
Another similarly said children should not grow up feeling that they need to hug or kiss someone in order to receive food, gifts or permission.
Others agreed that parents have the right to decide what physical boundaries should be maintained around their children, with one commenter simply suggesting that it might be “time to change bibik”.
However, not everyone agreed with the mother’s reaction.
One user responded by telling her not to hire a helper if she was uncomfortable with the situation, although that comment was quickly criticised by another netizen who argued that being an employee does not entitle someone to physical affection.
While people may have different comfort levels when it comes to showing affection to children, many commenters agreed on one point: adults should respect the boundaries set by both the child and their parents.
