Relationship not found: We asked 5 ladies who’ve never dated about their views on singlehood

Falling in love and getting into a romantic relationship is often taken for granted whereby most people believe that it’s a common life event for human beings.

But what about those who’ve never gotten to experience it? Or those who were this close to finding love but never had the chance to see it come to fruition?

To understand what exactly goes through the mind of such individuals, WeirdKaya interviewed five young ladies aged between 23 to 30 years old (‘A’, ‘B’, ‘C’, ‘D’, & ‘E’) to hear their experiences of love and views regarding singlehood.

A bittersweet kind of love

When asked whether they had ever fallen in love, all of them gave a firm “Yes”, with one remarking, “After all, I’m a girl, right?”

For ‘A’, she sees love as something that comes to her quite easily as she often finds herself falling for guys who treat her well. However, after nearly falling for a boy whom she described as a “jerk”, she has since decided to keep her wits (and heart) about her.

On the other hand, ‘B’ has quite a bittersweet memory of her first love.

“I first met the guy when I was 21 and he was 18. We got close after discovering that we shared several common interests and would sometimes even engage in deep, philosophical talks.

After a few months, I realised that I had fallen for him and eventually confessed my feelings via a text message. Sadly, he politely rejected me and said that he wasn’t interested.

“A few years later, I went through exactly the same thing with another guy during my time at university and got my heart crushed once again. But even till now, I still harbour residual feelings for him despite knowing that he currently has someone else in mind,” she says.

Prince Charming ain’t here yet

Out of the answers given by the five ladies, the most common was that they felt Mr Right has yet to come to sweep them off their feet.

“I think it gets much harder in finding the right one the older we get,” explains ‘C’. “When I was younger, I simply wanted to get together with the guy I liked as I only saw his strengths, not weaknesses.

“However, as an adult right now, I realise that there are way more areas I have to look into such as our compatibilities and future plans if we are to be a couple,” she says, adding that she hopes to find a man who is faithful, likes sports, and most importantly, a person of character.

As for ‘D’, she says she hasn’t met her Prince Charming as she doesn’t want to settle for second best and often treats her male friends as brothers instead of potential lovers — a view seemingly shared by ‘E’ too.

Aside from that, I suffer from low self-esteem and never had the courage to come clean about my feelings. I often feel like I don’t deserve the guy…maybe because I’m too rational.

Lady ‘E’

‘B’ echoed the same sentiments, saying that she suffers from a lack of self-esteem stemming from a childhood marred by verbal bullying.

“I like to call myself a ‘hopeless romantic’. Whenever someone tells me that I’ll eventually find someone, my first response would be “Pfft…as if someone could love someone like me!”

She also admits that she is afraid of investing deep feelings for another boy after getting rejected twice in the past.

As for ‘A’ , she says that she currently has no plans to pursue a romantic relationship as she’s one who deeply values personal freedom. “Maybe it’s cause I’m very content with my life right now and don’t see the need to have a boyfriend,” she explains.

“As a person who doesn’t like being tied down by commitments, I won’t get into a relationship until I’ve truly found the one for me and I don’t exactly have the time and energy to implement a ‘trail-and-error’ approach in this aspect.”

‘I’m single. So what?’

For all of the ladies interviewed for this story, the main sentiment regarding their singleness was that it was a conscious choice they made for themselves.

I think society has a misconception about single people like us. A lot of them often assume that we’re like small, white flowers who don’t know anything about love, but the opposite is also true — we don’t date because we know too much.

Lady ‘A’

And are they happy with the choice that they made?

“It’s okay to be single because it’s about the quality, not quantity,” says ‘D’. “I still believe in fate and I’ll just need to keep improving myself so that I’m prepared for my Mr. Right.”

‘C’ opines that people like herself are rare and equally as precious as those who’ve found their lifelong partner. “I think it [staying single] is a choice and there’s no point forcing it at all. But I believe I will find someone eventually.”

As for ‘B’, she’s currently very contented with maintaining her singleness. “Sure, it hurts every once in a while to see your (younger) friends getting a partner/hitched, but every time I think of the stress and conflict that comes with having one, I’m super thankful that I don’t have one for now. But who knows, I might have a boyfriend in a couple of years!”

Special thanks to all the ladies for sharing their stories.

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Cover image via Flickr & Freepik

Editor: Sarah Yeoh