When it comes to relationships, love isn’t always the only factor on the table. Practical concerns like income, education, and family expectations often play a bigger role than we expect.
That was the reality faced by a 25-year-old woman, who recently opened up about her situation.
After spending two years in a steady relationship, she and her boyfriend planned to get married but her parents aren’t onboard with the idea.
Their main concern? Her boyfriend works in the F&B industry earning RM1,800 a month while she holds a degree and has a higher-paying job lined up.
A future they planned together, now hanging by a thread
The woman explained that she’s currently doing her internship, and her father has already secured her a job with a salary ranging between RM3,000 and RM4,000.
Despite their efforts to save money and move forward together, her parents feel the relationship isn’t “equal” mainly due to differences in income and education level.
I have a degree. My boyfriend works in F&B and earns RM1,800. We’re planning to get married, and we’ve started saving, but my parents won’t give their blessing. They say we’re not on the same level,” she shared.
But emotional support can matter just as much
Despite the resistance, she said she feels secure and comfortable with her boyfriend, who is a year younger. She also believes he has growth potential, even if his salary doesn’t match hers.
I’m okay with where he is right now. I see how hardworking he is, and I believe in him. Even if he doesn’t earn RM3,000 or more, I still see a future,” she said.
“Now I’m asking myself, should I really give him up just because my parents don’t approve?”
Online thoughts
While the woman’s post sparked a debate, many netizens took a more cautionary tone, drawing from personal experiences and observations.
‘For me, a man’s education level matters. It’s not about looking down on him, but the truth is when the wife is more educated, it can lead to insecurity. During the dating phase, everything’s fine. But after marriage, differences in mindset can show. These gaps sometimes lead to toxic dynamics. Marriage isn’t short-term, sekufu (compatibility) includes how you think.’
‘Please learn from me. I was sponsored to study abroad and fell in love with an F&B guy. I earned RM5k at my first job; he claimed he earned RM4k+ but I never really saw it. I gave him so much, but he never gave back equally. My parents didn’t approve either, but I defended him. In the end, Allah showed me what he did behind my back; flirting with so many women. My advice? Parental blessings matter. Pray a lot.’
‘If you want a realistic answer, yes, financial instability can create problems in marriage. Either he steps up before the wedding, or it’s best to move on.’
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