A Malaysian woman has sparked debate after admitting she may no longer love her husband — despite describing him as the kind of partner many would consider ideal.
The confession, posted on XUAN’s Facebook page, details her struggle between stability, emotional emptiness and a moment of infidelity she says made her question her entire marriage.
A husband many would call ‘perfect’
In her post, the woman says her husband has “never done anything wrong” and is the type many parents would hope their daughters marry.
She describes him as gentle, responsible, respectful and emotionally intelligent.
He’s the kind of husband many women dream of, looks okay, speaks gently, highly responsible, and he respects me.”
Their life appears stable and organised. He manages housework meticulously, from sorting laundry to daily cleaning, and raises their daughter with patience and structure.
He accompanies her on weekends, avoids last-minute plans and is transparent about his whereabouts, even video-calling her when out with friends.
But over time, traits she once valued — quietness, predictability and self-discipline — began to feel stifling.
“Quiet became boring, and his thoughtfulness became a form of pressure,” she said.
A chance meeting led to an affair
She explained that their routine-heavy lifestyle left her feeling drained. Trips were rare, intimacy followed a fixed weekly schedule, and conversations often felt functional rather than emotional.
I feel like I’m playing the role of a good wife and mother, not myself,” she wrote.
The mismatch in personality further added to the tension. She admitted she preferred men who were more spontaneous and assertive, in contrast to her husband’s calm and steady nature.
Her dissatisfaction culminated when she met her university ex-boyfriend during a night out with friends. The familiarity and ease of their conversation, she said, reminded her of a version of herself she had not felt in years.
She eventually spent the night with him.
“I know it was wrong,” she wrote, “but that night I felt like a woman again, not a mother or a caretaker.”
Torn between a ‘perfect’ family and personal needs
She revealed that doubts about the relationship had surfaced as early as a year after graduation but stayed because her parents admired her husband and considered him a reliable partner.
Attempts to communicate her concerns were met with muted responses, and she felt little change over time.
Now in her early thirties, she says she feels disconnected from her husband, their orderly home and even their well-behaved daughter.
“I look at this family and feel like I don’t fit in. Why do I feel like I’m fifty when I’m only thirty?”
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