A 26-year-old Malaysian woman has sparked conversation online after sharing her struggle with being expected to give her mother a fixed monthly allowance that has steadily increased over time.
Working in Kuala Lumpur with a take-home salary of just over RM3,000, she said what began as a manageable contribution has now become a financial burden she can no longer sustain.
Started with RM500, increased to RM2,000
According to her post, her mother began asking for financial support when she first started working. At the time, she willingly contributed RM500 a month, seeing it as a way to give back after being raised by her parents.
However, the amount did not stay the same.
Over time, it increased to RM800, then RM1,200. Despite feeling the pressure, she continued paying, adjusting her lifestyle to cope with the growing commitment.
Things escalated recently when her mother requested RM2,000 a month.
I was stunned,” she wrote, adding that the amount was simply beyond her means given her current financial situation.
Struggling to make ends meet in KL
With a net income of slightly above RM3,000, she explained that a large portion already goes towards basic necessities such as rent, food, transport, and phone bills.
After covering these expenses, she is left with very little savings.
Honestly, it’s just enough to survive,” she said.
The sudden jump to RM2,000 would leave her with almost nothing to sustain herself.
Emotional pressure and comparisons
When she tried to explain that she could not afford the increased amount, she said her mother responded with emotionally charged remarks.
Among them were statements questioning her sense of gratitude and comparing her to others who allegedly give their parents RM3,000 to RM4,000 monthly.
Her mother also told her, “I raised you all these years, and this is how you treat me?”
The comments left her feeling hurt and conflicted.
Double standards between siblings
What made the situation more difficult, she shared, was the apparent difference in expectations between her and her younger brother.
Her 23-year-old brother, who is still living at home and has had unstable employment, is not required to contribute financially. Instead, their mother continues to support him, including helping to pay off his credit card and daily expenses.
When she questioned this, her mother allegedly replied that her brother “is still starting out and needs time”.
But don’t I need time too?” she wrote.
From “helping out” to obligation
She said what began as a voluntary act of filial piety has gradually turned into something expected and non-negotiable.
On one occasion, when she could only afford to give RM1,000, her mother stopped speaking to her for three days.
She also posted passive-aggressive messages in the family group chat, implying that children who grow up often “forget their roots”.
Reading those messages left her feeling emotionally drained.
“Am I repaying a debt that never ends?”
The situation has taken a toll on her mental and emotional wellbeing.
She shared that she is not unwilling to support her parents, but feels that her current financial capacity is not being considered.
I also have my own life. I want to save money. I worry about falling sick, losing my job, and my future,” she said.
