Helping your family financially can come from a place of love.
But for one Malaysian woman, it allegedly left her dealing with unpaid loans and hurtful remarks when she decided to put her own needs first.
The woman shared that her family labelled her an “anak derhaka”, or unfilial child, after she took back her own car, which they had been using, because she needed it to travel to work.
But it’s my car. I’ll accept being called that because I really need the car,” she said.
Parents allegedly used her name to take out loans
According to the woman, the problems began after she completed her Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia (SPM) examinations and started working.
She claimed her parents used her personal details to take out several loans, telling her that her credit record was still clean while their own names could no longer be used.
Her identification details were also allegedly used to purchase a motorcycle and a phone.
As she was already earning an income, her parents told her she could help ease the family’s financial burden.
The woman acknowledged that she had allowed them to use her details, but said refusing came with pressure at home.
If I didn’t allow it, my father would get angry, while my mother would give me the silent treatment,” she said.
Found out about unpaid loans through an email
The situation worsened when her parents allegedly failed to keep up with repayments on the loans taken out under her name.
She said she only discovered the issue after receiving an email informing her that her name had been listed in CTOS over outstanding payments.
The discovery left her feeling disappointed and wronged.
According to her, all the loans had repayment problems except the car loan, as she had continued paying its instalments even when her family was using the vehicle.
Even though I wasn’t using it before, I still paid the instalments because I knew the consequences of missing bank loan payments,” she explained.
Hurt by her father’s response
Beyond the financial strain, the woman said her father’s reaction during an argument was particularly painful.
She recalled him saying that he had expected life to become easier once his child started working, but that things were still just as difficult.
Having already contributed so much, she felt hurt that this was his response when she decided to stop helping.
The woman said she simply wanted to express what she had been keeping inside. However, opening up to others was difficult because she was often told to keep giving in and prioritise her parents.
Found support from her future husband’s family
Despite the strained relationship with her own family, the woman said she had found comfort in the love and acceptance shown by her future husband’s family.
At the time of her sharing, she was preparing to get married the following month.
Finally, there are people who appreciate me, not because of money,” she said.
She added that she was deeply grateful to have met a family who treated her like their own daughter.
