For some Malaysians, having children feels like a natural part of life. For others, it feels like a lifelong commitment that must be carefully calculated.
A recent online debate comparing T20 and B40 families highlights how money, pressure, and expectations influence the decision to become parents.
The discussion began when a Malaysian posed a simple question on social media: ‘Why do T20 Malaysians fear having kids, but B40 families don’t?’
Although the poster clarified that it was meant to encourage discussion rather than make a claim, the replies quickly revealed how deeply divided Malaysians are when it comes to parenting, finances, and responsibility.
“Kids as retirement” vs “kids as responsibility”
One of the most repeated sentiments in the comments was blunt and divisive.
“T20 have retirement plans. B40 kids are their retirement plan,” one netizen wrote.
Others summarised it even more simply: “B40: investment. T20: responsibility.”
To some, T20 families are seen as financially independent, with EPF savings, insurance, and long-term planning that do not involve relying on children. Meanwhile, B40 families are often perceived as placing greater emotional or financial expectations on their children later in life.
However, critics argue this view oversimplifies reality and ignores structural issues such as limited access to financial security tools among lower-income households.
Cost calculations vs “just surviving”
Another recurring theme was how differently both groups approach decision-making.
“T20 will analyse and calculate costs and quality of life. B40 just focus on surviving,” one comment read.
This closely reflects findings shared in a recent Made in Malaysia article, which explains that wealthier Malaysians often associate parenting with high standards and long-term planning.
For T20 families, the perceived cost of raising a child goes far beyond food and shelter, extending to private healthcare, childcare, education pathways, enrichment classes, and overall lifestyle expectations.
As a result, parenthood becomes something that feels expensive, risky, and overwhelming.
B40 families, on the other hand, are more likely to rely on public healthcare, public education, extended family support, and shared caregiving. Parenthood is approached more practically, without the pressure of meeting elite standards.
Fear of falling behind vs hope of moving forward
One comment resonated with many readers for its insight:
“Poor people see children as having the potential to go beyond their parents. Rich people see children as having the potential to fall behind their parents.”
For many B40 families, children symbolise hope and upward mobility. Even small improvements in education or income are viewed as success.
For T20 families, the fear often lies in downward mobility. Parents worry about whether their children can maintain the same opportunities, status, or quality of life, which adds pressure and anxiety to the idea of raising a family.
Religion and cultural beliefs also surfaced strongly in the discussion.
Some commenters leaned on the idea that “anak tu rezeki,” viewing children as blessings that come regardless of financial readiness.
Others pushed back, arguing that children are an “amanah” or responsibility, questioning whether it is fair to have many children without sufficient resources to care for them properly.
Amid the heated takes, several netizens called out the over-generalisation.
“Everything is being generalised by class 😂. In reality, both sides have their good and bad,” one wrote.
“There are plenty of T20 kids who turn out badly, and plenty of B40 kids who succeed. It goes both ways,” another added.
Less about money itself & more about expectations
According to Made in Malaysia, the divide is less about money itself and more about expectations, pressure, and support systems.
Wealthier Malaysians often face career opportunity costs, urban living stress, and intense pressure to be “perfect” parents. Lower-income families tend to rely more on community support, faith, and shared responsibility.
Both groups are responding to different realities, not choosing between courage and fear.
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