Relationships often require compromise, understanding, and a balance between family and personal priorities.
Recently, a Malaysian man shared his dilemma, revealing that his girlfriend told him his cancer-stricken mother should “learn to be independent.”
This story was shared anonymously by the XUAN Play Facebook page. According to the post, the man explained his complicated situation and the clash of perspectives between him and his girlfriend.
A son torn between his mother and girlfriend
The man explained that his 70-year-old mother had been diagnosed with cancer and needed someone to accompany her for treatment.
As her only child, and having grown up in a single-parent household after losing his father at just one year old, he felt it was his duty to care for her.
However, his girlfriend had a different opinion. She believed his mother should be responsible for her own treatment, arguing that a family of origin and a future family are separate entities.
In her view, his primary responsibility should lie with his future family, not his elderly mother.
Parents shouldn’t expect anything in return
In the post, the man shared that his girlfriend told him that parents choose to have children, and raising them is their responsibility, not something that should come with expectations of repayment.
She said my mum should learn to be independent. She even pointed out that there are people older than 70 who are still working,” he wrote.
Her comments left him deeply conflicted. While he believed that taking care of his mother was the right thing to do, his girlfriend felt that his actions were overly tied to outdated ideas of filial piety.
How can i let my mum face this alone?
The man expressed that he couldn’t fathom leaving his mother to deal with her illness alone.
He described her as the person who had sacrificed everything to raise him as a single parent, and now, in her time of need, he felt an obligation to be by her side.
She’s 70, battling cancer, and has no one else but me. How can I expect her to handle this alone?” he asked.
Netizen shared their thoughts
“Your girlfriend is the one who should learn to be independent.”
“Why keep a girlfriend like this?”
“My worldview is shattered. To be honest, your mum is already 70 years old—if you don’t go back now, she might not even have another 10 years. How old are you? Asking a question like this shows that you’re probably still too young. Do you know how heartbreaking it is to start counting down the remaining time?”
What do you think? Should he prioritise his ailing mother or respect his girlfriend’s wishes? Share your thoughts below.
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