A Singaporean woman born in the 1980s has spoken up about her decision to remain child-free after eight years of marriage, offering a raw and relatable look into the pressures faced by dual-income couples in the city-state.
Not by choice, but by circumstance
In a personal reflection shared on Facebook, the woman clarified that her decision not to have children wasn’t due to infertility or dislike for kids — but fear.
“We’re not alone,” she wrote, referring to recent data showing that childless couples in Singapore have doubled over the past decade.
“We’ve just been forced into silence.”
A two-income home that still struggles
Despite appearing financially stable, she revealed that life behind closed doors is far from comfortable.
Between housing loans, utilities, groceries, parental medical expenses, and transport, there is little room left for raising a child.
We’re not saying we don’t want kids. But after doing the math, we realised raising one isn’t something you can just ‘work harder’ to afford.”
Childcare system adds more strain
The woman highlighted that daycare costs easily run into four figures, while hiring a domestic helper brings added responsibilities and expenses.
Without assistance, one parent would have to quit their job — an option she called unrealistic.
“Do you know what stepping away from your career for years does to your future?”
Today’s world isn’t child-friendly either
Beyond costs, she voiced concerns about raising a child in an increasingly complex society.
From education anxiety to digital dependency and mental health struggles — how do we give a child a complete world when we’re still trying to survive in it ourselves?”
She stressed that her decision doesn’t make her life incomplete. “I admire all parents, but choosing not to have children is also a valid, rational choice.”
“Don’t define happiness through outdated family templates. Not having kids doesn’t mean we love any less, or live with less purpose.”
She ended her message with a call for empathy: “Please stop asking when we’ll have kids. We’re already doing everything we can to live decently in this pressure-cooker of a city.”
