A 31 year old Malaysian woman has shared her emotional dilemma after saying yes to her boyfriend’s proposal, even though she admits her feelings for him have long faded.
She revealed that she is currently living with her boyfriend of 12 years, who also happens to be her first love. However, things are far more complicated than they seem.
They met at 13 but only got together at 20
Posted anonymously on XUAN Facebook page, the woman said they first got to know each other when they were 13, but never met in person as he lived in another city.
When she turned 20, he moved to Kuala Lumpur to work so he could be closer to her. They officially began dating that year.
Despite being in the same city, they did not live together at first. He stayed with his brother while she continued living with her family. It was only in 2021 that they finally moved in together.
Before that, their relationship was largely long distance.
“Sometimes we only met once every three months,” she shared.
After he relocated to KL in 2015, they saw each other more often, usually on weekends. On weekdays, he would occasionally pick her up after work, but only to send her home.
Looking back, she realised they had very little time truly alone as a couple.
Most of their time together was spent at shopping malls, parks, or at her house watching movies with her family. They rarely had moments that belonged only to the two of them.
She now wonders if that lack of private time caused emotional distance between them.
He presented himself as single and secretly met other women
Between 2017 and 2019, things took a darker turn.
She discovered that he had been meeting other women online through platforms like WeChat and had presented himself as single.
She also claimed he frequently contacted female massage therapists who provided “services”.
Every night, he would video call her. But after she fell asleep, he would continue video chatting with those women and even meet them in person, all without her knowledge.
When she eventually found out, they had severe arguments. Since then, she described their relationship as unstable and on the verge of collapse.
She met a younger man who treated her better
In 2021, during this turbulent period, she met another man who is five years younger than her.
“He is kind and very caring,” she wrote.
The younger man knew she had a boyfriend and understood that she was going through relationship problems. Despite that, he was willing to wait for her and treated her sincerely.
Over time, they grew closer. They met during their off days and eventually became intimate.
Until today, she still meets him occasionally. No one else knows about this.
She accepted the proposal mainly because of the 12 years
At the end of 2025, her long term boyfriend brought her overseas for a short trip.
During that trip, he proposed.
She said YES.
However, she admitted that her decision was largely influenced by the fact that they had been together for nearly 12 years.
“After everything that happened, my feelings had already slowly faded,” she confessed.
Currently, only their families know about the engagement. No one knows that she is still seeing the younger man.
“I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore”
The woman described herself as extremely lost and confused.
“I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore,” she wrote.
She does not know whether to continue with the man she has spent more than a decade with, or to choose the younger man who treats her well.
With a proposal accepted but unresolved feelings lingering, she is now stuck between familiarity and uncertainty.
She ended her confession by asking for advice, hoping someone could help her figure out her next step.
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