A Malaysian woman has sparked discussion online after sharing how financial expectations nearly caused her relationship to fall apart.
In an anonymous post, the woman said she and her boyfriend are both fresh graduates and have been saving for marriage for about two years.
Their goal is to save RM30,000 each.
However, she admitted that constantly splitting expenses while trying to save for their future had slowly left her feeling exhausted.
Working 3 jobs to save for wedding
The woman said she earns around RM3,000 from her office job.
She also runs an online business at night and works part time as a cashier on weekends.
Her boyfriend, meanwhile, works as an operator during the day and as an e-hailing driver at night.
She stressed that he was not stingy and that both of them were simply starting out in life.
Still, she admitted feeling jealous when she saw other women receiving flowers, gifts or meals from their partners.
She said that in her own relationship, almost everything was split equally.
Even when she wanted snacks or makeup while they were out together, she would pay for them herself.
She also claimed she sometimes paid for both of their meals because she earned more and felt obligated to do so.
Says BF could spend on friends but rarely on her
What frustrated her was seeing her boyfriend spend money when he went out with friends.
According to her, he could spend more than RM30 a day eating outside or hanging out, while she rarely went out because she was focused on saving.
The frustration finally came out during a recent date.
She had been craving jacket potatoes and asked her boyfriend to bring her to a shop selling them.
She ordered two portions costing RM23 in total.
When her boyfriend did not offer to pay, she paid for them herself.
Although RM23 was not a huge amount, she said the incident became the breaking point after months of bottled up frustration.
She eventually raised her voice and told him she was tired of never being treated.
Wedding savings added to frustration
Her boyfriend apologised and offered to transfer her the RM23, but she refused.
Later, while they were talking, he reportedly told her that he could not afford to spend on her like other men because he was saving for their wedding.
That explanation upset her further.
She said she had already saved more than RM12,000, while her boyfriend had saved slightly over RM7,000 after around two years.
She then questioned why he could still spend money with his friends but rarely treated her.
Some commenters advised her not to rely too much on opinions from netizens, as the many different perspectives could leave her feeling even more confused. Instead, they suggested that she take some time to reflect on what she truly wants, look after herself, and carefully consider the relationship before making any decision about marriage.
Some questioned whether splitting even small expenses 50/50 was sustainable in the long run, while others felt they might simply be at different levels of financial readiness and maturity.
