A Malaysian woman working in the finance industry recently shared a raw and honest confession about how she lost sight of her values while trying to build her career.
The anonymous post, shared by Facebook page XUAN, details how she gradually crossed emotional and professional lines in an effort to survive and succeed in a male-dominated environment.
‘Pretty + capable = shortcut to success’
In the post, the woman explains that she’s been working in finance for nearly five years and has changed companies multiple times to explore better opportunities.
Over the years, she noticed a recurring pattern, women who were both attractive and competent often gained an upper hand in the industry.
If a woman is good-looking and has some ability, it’s almost like a winning hand. She can break into the industry so much faster,” she wrote.
What started off as subtle observations eventually influenced how she behaved at work.
She began leveraging her looks and becoming “deliberately friendly” with certain clients, hoping it would help her stand out and open doors.
Blurring the line between charm and compromise
Despite having a boyfriend who loves her deeply, the woman admitted that she often walked the fine line between professionalism and flirtation.
Sometimes I didn’t reject inappropriate comments or teasing. A few times, I almost crossed the line,” she confessed.
Internally, she was conflicted. On one hand, she rationalised her behaviour as a form of “mutual benefit” — a way to stay competitive in an industry where power dynamics aren’t always fair.
But on the other hand, she struggled with guilt, feeling as though she had lost her principles.
I know this path is wrong. But my ambition and career drive had already pushed me past my moral boundaries.”
“I didn’t want to live an average life”
At the heart of her confession was a deep fear of mediocrity — of letting her youth pass by without achieving something “significant.”
She described how she didn’t want her hard-earned advantages to go to waste, even if it meant sacrificing a part of herself.
But now, she says, the cost feels too high.
“I just want to find my way back — to balance my emotions, rediscover my purpose, and stop trading bits of myself just for an opportunity.”
A message to other career-driven women
The post ends with a message for other women in similar positions — particularly those navigating male-dominated fields like finance.
Work hard for your career, but don’t lose your boundaries. Don’t do things you’ll regret just for a little success.”
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Here is the post:
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