In any relationship, effort should come from both sides. But one Malaysian woman recently shared how she found herself giving everything while receiving very little in return.
In a now-viral thread, she opened up about her experience dating a man who, despite earning a five-figure salary, turned out to be extremely stingy.
She went all out for his birthday
A few months into the relationship, her boyfriend’s birthday rolled around. Wanting to make it special, she spent RM1,800 on a fine dining experience, knowing he hadn’t celebrated his birthday in over 10 years.
He was clearly touched by the gesture, asking her eagerly beforehand where they were going and what he should wear.
But her birthday came… and went
The following month was her birthday.
While he did send a sweet birthday wish, there was no celebration—not even a simple meal. She waited, thinking maybe a surprise was coming, but weeks went by with nothing planned or even mentioned.
Her birthday quietly passed, without even a roti canai or teh tarik from the man who once claimed he wanted to marry her.
The red flags started showing
Despite the disappointment, she stayed in the relationship and tried to accept his shortcomings.
But during a later argument, she finally confronted him about it. His excuse? He “forgot.”
Over time, she realised she couldn’t even freely order food when they dined out—he would always choose the place, control the order, and she felt too guilty to ask for more.
What made things harder was the comparison to her late husband, who was generous and never once counted the cost when it came to their daily needs.
‘The only thing he ever gave me was a packet of tea’
The relationship lasted over a year, and she had always been the one giving—through gifts, food, and thoughtful gestures. Meanwhile, the only thing she ever received from him was a packet of tea from Thailand.
While she admits the experience was painful, she’s ultimately grateful the relationship ended.
While love isn’t measured by money, this story is a reminder that effort and appreciation matter just as much as affection.
At the end of the day, it’s not about grand gestures but about showing up for each other in meaningful ways.
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