A post shared anonymously on XUAN’s Facebook page has been gaining attention online after a Malaysian man opened up about the financial and emotional struggles in his marriage.
He revealed that despite earning nearly RM30k a month, his wife’s wish for a RM1mil home has left him torn between financial security and marital expectations.
According to the man, he is 39 while his wife is 32. The couple dated for five years and have been married for four years, but they have yet to start a family.
He explained that it is not because they do not want children, but rather because he feels they are not ready emotionally or financially.
Frequent quarrels and rising tensions
The man shared that disagreements often escalate at home. His wife would sometimes throw things or leave the house whenever they argued.
Meanwhile, he described himself as someone who prefers to stay calm and process his emotions quietly.
Even after heated arguments, he would still make sure his wife had dinner because he believed that “taking care of each other is still a responsibility, no matter what.”
However, over the past two years, these repeated arguments and financial disagreements have made him feel increasingly drained.
From MCO marriage to KL life
The man revealed that they got married during the MCO period without holding a wedding ceremony. She did not mind at the time, and they eventually moved to Kuala Lumpur for work.
He came to the city first while she joined a year later. At the time, his salary was around RM15k while hers was RM4k.
Since she did not want to share a rental unit with others, they decided to rent their own place for RM1500 a month, a cost that he shouldered without complaint.
On top of that, he was also giving his parents a monthly allowance of RM1500 to RM2000 while servicing a housing loan in Johor Bahru, leaving him with little savings.
Salaries went up but so did expectations
Things changed when his salary rose to nearly RM30k and hers to RM5k. The man thought this would finally be the start of planning for a home and saving for the future.
But instead of looking at affordable options, his wife expressed her wish for a home in Mont Kiara worth around RM1.1mil.
He explained that with his income, the most he could safely afford was a RM600k house. Even if she chipped in RM1500 a month, they could only manage something around RM800k to RM900k.
Buying a RM1mil home, he said, would put them in a dangerous position where even a single job loss could lead to bankruptcy.
Wife accused him of being unwilling to spend
Despite multiple discussions, the wife continued to insist that Mont Kiara was the right choice and refused to consider the financial risks.
She also accused him of being unwilling to spend on her, pointing out how they never had a wedding ceremony and now could not get the “dream home” she wanted.
The man explained that a RM600k home would allow him to save RM4k to RM5k every month, but a RM1mil home would leave him with almost nothing.
Cars, savings and mounting pressure
On top of the housing issue, there was also the matter of cars.
He drives a fully paid 2013 second-hand Accord while she owns a Myvi. He chose not to change cars in order to save money, but she now wants to upgrade to an HR-V.
She currently saves about RM1000 monthly, but a car upgrade would leave her with almost no savings. Her petrol and maintenance costs were often paid with his card as well.
Marriage, kids and difficult decisions
All these factors have made him hesitant about having children, as he feels the financial burden is already heavy enough.
The man admitted that the thought of divorce has crossed his mind. However, he felt that marriage is not something one can walk away from as easily as a job.
Unable to share his frustrations with family or friends, he turned to the internet to pour out his feelings anonymously.
He ended his post with a question that has since struck a chord with many readers:
What do you think about this? Share your thoughts with us in the comment section.
Here is the post:
READ ALSO:
