It is easy to romanticise charity. Harder to admit that sometimes the people we want to help do not want help at all.
A Malaysian man has gone viral after sharing why he now regrets taking part in food distribution programmes for the homeless during his university days.
What began as a well intentioned act of kindness eventually made him question whether his efforts were directed at the right people.
“The dumbest thing I did in university”
According to him, he once believed that joining clubs that handed out food to the homeless was the best way to contribute to society. But as he reflected on those years, he realised the struggles happening much closer to home.
The dumbest thing I did in university was joining clubs that gave food to the homeless,” he wrote.
“But my own friends in university were living in hardship. Some had to starve while studying.”
His comments pointed to a larger pattern he witnessed among students. Many came from low income families, worked part time jobs, or relied entirely on themselves to cover tuition, rent and daily meals.
Even his housemate had to shoulder every expense alone.
“They rejected the food and asked for money instead”
That realisation became even more frustrating when he looked back at his experiences with the homeless. Despite volunteers preparing meals with good intentions, he said many individuals they approached refused the food outright.
It hurt when they rejected the food we gave. Some even said they did not want food. They wanted money,” he said.
This reaction left him wondering whether their efforts were making any real impact. Over time, he formed the view that many homeless individuals in the city were not seeking long term change.
“Many homeless people are comfortable with that lifestyle. They have no intention to improve their lives,” he said, adding that transit centres exist but are often underutilised.
Netizens say his experience is not unique
His reflections quickly gained traction online, with many netizens saying they had witnessed similar things.
Several agreed that food distribution for the homeless often becomes excessive, especially on weekends when various groups carry out their outreach.
“The homeless are too full and do not appreciate it. Especially on weekends when many people give them things,” one user wrote.
This, they argued, contrasts sharply with the situation faced by students who quietly struggle with hunger.
Many said it is common for students to skip meals because they are too embarrassed to ask for help.
“Many students tighten their belts but do not dare ask for help. If you give free food to students it would finish instantly,” another comment read.
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