A Malaysian man has sparked discussion online after sharing his frustrations about a long-term relationship where he feels unappreciated despite carrying most of the financial burden.
The story was shared anonymously on the XUAN Facebook page, where he opened up about his five-year relationship with his girlfriend.
Says he has been financially supporting most things
In his post, the man admitted that he is not perfect but described himself as a responsible partner who has always tried his best to provide.
He shared that he usually pays for outings, gives generous red packets during festive seasons, and makes an effort to celebrate special occasions.
According to him, his girlfriend used to have a high income before the pandemic and was used to a more premium lifestyle.
However, even after her earnings dropped significantly, she continued maintaining the same spending habits.
He said he did his best to support her lifestyle.
The man also revealed that when his girlfriend bought a car a few years ago, he was asked to cover half of the instalments. Over time, he ended up paying almost everything, including the insurance.
Small issues often turn into big arguments
Despite his efforts, he said the relationship has been filled with frequent arguments over minor issues.
At the start, he tried to communicate and reason things out, but his girlfriend reportedly told him that “winning an argument means losing the girlfriend.”
Since then, he said he chose to tolerate and keep quiet.
However, he claimed that she often loses her temper over small matters and becomes unreasonable when angry.
“I was unwell, but still got scolded”
He shared one incident where he was feeling dizzy and almost falling sick but still had to drive a long distance.
During the trip, his girlfriend asked him to pack some food into a bag, but he did not hear her clearly. When she later realised it was not done, she allegedly threw the food away and continued scolding him.
In another situation, he stopped at a petrol station where she asked him to buy her a drink. He said she refused to help him purchase it while he was refuelling, and when he did not stop again later, she scolded him for it.
He said he stayed silent throughout, but internally questioned why he was being treated that way despite not feeling well.
Spending nearly RM90,000 on trips together
The man also shared that both of them enjoy travelling and usually go overseas at least once or twice a year.
He estimated spending around RM50,000 on a Europe trip two years ago and RM40,000 on an Australia trip last year.
Despite the high costs, he said he never complained as he believed money could be earned back and that enjoying time together mattered more.
However, he claimed that even during trips, small disagreements would escalate, sometimes making the experience feel stressful instead of enjoyable.
Questions if love means enduring everything
While he initially believed he could endure the situation, the man said he has reached his limit.
He described his girlfriend’s tone and behaviour during arguments as hurtful, adding that he feels emotionally drained.
I am willing to give because I love her,” he wrote, but questioned whether being a man meant he had to accept such treatment.
He also asked whether love should require enduring constant scolding and whether the relationship is still worth continuing.
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