A Malaysian woman who thought that moving in with her boyfriend would strengthen their relationship has instead found herself questioning their future together.
Just two months after living under the same roof, disagreements over household responsibilities began exposing deeper issues between them.
Expenses were split, but not house chores
In an anonymous confession shared with content creator Ah Lee, the woman explained that when she and her boyfriend decided to live together, they agreed to split shared expenses such as rent, utilities, and daily living costs.
At first, she was comfortable with the arrangement and never saw it as a problem.
However, she soon realised that while financial responsibilities were evenly divided, the same could not be said for household duties, as she was the only one consistently handling cleaning, tidying, and other daily chores around the home.
The woman said that after growing tired of managing the household on her own, she approached her boyfriend to ask if he could help share the workload.
Refusal to help turns into offer of payment
Instead of offering to contribute his time or effort, the man reportedly suggested that he could pay her RM10 per hour to take care of the chores, explaining that he did not wish to use his “manpower” for housework.
The proposal immediately upset her, as she felt the offer reduced her role in the relationship to that of hired help rather than an equal partner.
I scolded him and asked if he thought I was his maid. I also told him that RM10 per hour is too little.”
This then led to a heated argument, with the woman claiming that her boyfriend accused her of being money-minded when she objected to the arrangement, despite the fact that they had already been making plans to get married within the next year.
Left feeling unsupported and disrespected, the woman said she was now deeply uncertain about continuing the relationship, particularly as she imagined what married life might look like if such issues were already surfacing at this early stage.
She questioned whether the incident was a clear sign that she should move out of the shared home, or even reconsider whether staying in the relationship was the right decision.
‘He’s a roommate, not a BF’
Commenting on the confession, Ah Lee said the situation described by the woman raised serious concerns, adding that the dynamic sounded far more like a roommate arrangement than a romantic partnership built on mutual care and responsibility.
She was particularly critical of the RM10 per hour offer, pointing out that part-time domestic help in Malaysia typically earns significantly more, often ranging between RM15 and RM20 per hour.
Ah Lee also warned that using money as leverage within a relationship, especially when marriage has already been discussed, could be a troubling sign of deeper power imbalances.
