Some call it tough love. Others call it unnecessary cruelty.
A Malaysian woman’s story about her father’s blunt comment before a job interview has divided opinions online, after she shared how his words deeply affected her confidence.
In a social media post, the woman said she had woken up feeling excited to attend an interview and was chatting happily with her mother when her father suddenly made a remark that caught her off guard.
‘Maybe it’s because you’re fat’
She wrote:
“I woke up this morning to go for an interview. I was happily chatting with my mum when suddenly my father said, ‘How many interviews have you gone to but still didn’t get the job? Maybe it’s because you’re fat.’
“I was like, what the hell? It’s not like I’m going for an interview to be a bank officer.”
The woman’s father then continued: “He said, ‘You’re targeting the wrong thing. You should lose weight first before going for interviews. Only then will people accept you.’
I know beauty standards exist, but I didn’t expect it to come from my own father. I even said, ‘So being fat is really something shameful?’ and he said YES.”
She added that while she was aware beauty standards exist in society, she never expected such words to come from her own parent, especially right before an important interview.
The post quickly gained attention, prompting netizens to share their own views and personal experiences.
‘Do something about it!’
Some netizens defended the father’s remarks, saying that parents are often the only ones willing to speak honestly, even if it hurts.
One commenter said that only a father would dare to tell the truth that others are too afraid to say, adding that feeling offended should instead motivate a person to take action.
Another netizen shared her own experience of being called “anak gajah” and “baby elephant” by her late father throughout her life. She said she was never offended by the nicknames, explaining that she preferred hearing such comments from her father rather than from outsiders.
“My point is, he was honest with me while everyone else was just sugarcoating it. Don’t be offended and change,” she wrote, adding that such moments should be valued while parents are still around.
Another commenter said she understood why the woman felt hurt and acknowledged that the timing of the remark was inappropriate. However, she argued that the father was referring to health standards rather than beauty standards.
The commenter claimed that some companies today are concerned about health, wellness, productivity, and medical leave, adding that factors such as skin colour would not matter, but higher BMI could raise concerns among HR departments.
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