An anonymous 25-year-old university student in Malaysia recently shared her deeply emotional story in a confession posted to the XUAN Play Facebook page.
In the lengthy post, she opened up about how she’s been struggling to juggle her final year studies and part-time work, all while enduring years of emotional neglect and toxic expectations from her own family.
‘My home is where I’m expected to serve’
While many assume home is a safe space, the anonymous student revealed that hers is anything but.
“My house is chaotic,” she wrote. “There are arguments almost every day.”
Whenever things go wrong, she says the blame is always pinned on her.
They say everything is my fault. They even told me, ‘It would’ve been better if you were never born.’”
After long nights of studying or shifts at work, she doesn’t get to relax when she gets home.
Instead, she says she’s treated like an “emotional trash bin,” expected to listen to complaints, keep her parents company, and manage their moods.
‘Why don’t you just kill the whole family?’
The most emotionally jarring moment came when her mother confronted her after work one day, at her most exhausted.
Without warning, her mother allegedly said these words not once, but three times:
Why don’t you just kill me? Kill the whole family while you’re at it.”
The student said while she was grateful she didn’t lose control in that moment — but it left an emotional scar.
A family that only takes
Her mother, described as controlling and emotionally volatile, would often compare her to other children and belittle her efforts.
“She always thinks other people’s kids are better. She controls everything, even stopped me from hanging out with friends who were kind to me.”
Even when the girl tried to explain how unhappy she was, her parents allegedly brushed her off or gave her more stress.
Her father, meanwhile, was emotionally absent and rarely involved — often walking away whenever conflict broke out.
Despite all this, she still did what she could to give back.
Ever since I entered Form 6, my father hasn’t given me a single cent.
He didn’t even know what university I went to. But every year he would show up asking for angpao money.”
Even when she had no money to spare and was in debt, she still found ways to lend him money, money he never returned.
‘No ‘happy birthday’ in four years’
The post also revealed just how emotionally disconnected her family was.
She said her birthdays have gone completely unacknowledged for the last four years. When she brought it up, her mother allegedly replied:
Your birthday was the day I suffered. You should thank me.”
These words, she said, made her hate her own birthday — and feel like her very existence was a burden.
Now in her final year, the student is barely keeping it together. Her health is deteriorating from constant all-nighters, yet she doesn’t even have time to visit a doctor.
A recent blow came when her long-awaited final year project was rejected and sent back for a redo.
“I know I should see a therapist,” she said. “But I have no time, and no money.”
Still, in the midst of the darkness, she expressed gratitude for two unrelated friends who treat her like family — people who care, celebrate her birthday, and support her from the sidelines.
Sometimes I want to hug them. But I’m afraid they’ll find out I’m not doing okay. I’ve done my best. Really, I’ve done my best.”
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